How Media Studies Ruined Alien.

Ah A-level Media Studies. First you promised me a course full of film-making, and I'd "unlock my creative potential." All I've unlocked so far is my thumb from endless essay writing. But I was willing to forgive you Media Studies, after all, if I pass you I go to uni to do Media PRODUCTION in which I'll spend much more time well, actually producing media than writing about it.

But this wasn't enough for you was it? No. Then you had to ruin Alien for me. And this is unforgivable.

Now you're probably wondering how Media Studies ruined it. No, I didn't read the ending of the film in a text book, it's something far worse. It has instilled a theory into my subconscious which I will never be able to forget.

I used to find the Xenomorph's (the actual Aliens) in the Alien films fairly terrifying. After all, as far as movie monsters go they're fairly bad-ass. They're sneaky, fast, acid for blood, ugly as sin and just generally terrifying and you wouldn't want to find one hiding under your bed. But now I can never look at them in the same way.

One thing I love about films is how they're open to interpretation, sort of like books, and my Media Studies teacher recently told us an interpretation of the entire ideology behind the Aliens. To but it bluntly, everything's a... penis.

That's right. It is possible to watch Alien and interpret the monsters as mans ultimate nightmare coming true, huge hungry penises chasing them around space, or more specifically, man's subconscious fear of giving birth. If you're not convinced just look at the Aliens with a slightly more open mind. In particular the skull...

 

Now I know this isn't completely convincing. Yes it is a tad on the phallic side, but you'd be forgiven for dismissing it as simply childish to think it's sexual just because of it's shape...

But oh no, there's more. Alien is after all a horror film, and what makes it so scary is it's underlying message. It appeals to man's natural fear of giving birth. The Aliens impregnate people, and everyone but the FEMALE Ripley meets a very sticky end. 

(By the way, face-huggers? Walking, jumping vaginas.)

This isn't where the sexual undercurrent ends! The Alien's primary weapon is it's mouth-dwelling tongue of death, which fires into people's heads. It doesn't take an awkward conversation with your dad to understand how this can be seen as sexualised.

And of course, the icing on this horribly disturbing cake is how man is forced to give birth after this terrifying process. And somehow, they even manage to make this look like a mans family jewels too, with teeth, obviously. 

This may not have completely convinced you, and you may think it's a load of far-fetched nonsense and to you I say congratulations because now you can watch one of cinema's greatest suspense horrors without condemning the villains as feminist penises with teeth. 

I may have been a little harsh by saying this theory has ruined the film for me, but it does make a lot of sense. If this was intended and men the world over have been scared by this film because it has tapped into some subconscious fear we all posses about giving birth (have to admit it's not on my to-do list in life) then well done to the designers who came up with the concept of the Xenomorph, and the writers who implemented them so carefully into the film. "Alien" has become a huge success, spawning sequels and spin-offs for decades, and has become the quintessential sci-fi nightmare.

After a period which seen nothing much more intuitive in horror than the death traps of "Saw," horror remakes and tasteless gore-fests it would be nice to see more film-makers taking new steps to truly scare audiences, and if that involves giant, angry penises from space, then so be it.

Thanks for reading! If you have been affected by this blog and want to talk to someone about it, please feel free to... oh, just ask your dad.